I received my beloved silver shaded Persian kitty, Misty back in my lap last Saturday 5/3/14 which made me wept and wept while hugging her as I miss her so very much. Although it was only her remains and paw print, i don't love it any less. She came into and changed my life forever some 16 yrs ago. She was diagnosed with Mammary cancer and chronic kidney failure in Jan '14. Despite my best effort to give her the quality of life during her last days, with pain relieving morphine for cats and did the diuresis myself at home, the nasty diseases finally beaten her as she was gasping for air to breathe everytime she tried to eat, drink, jump or even walk a little.
I cannot thank Dr. Annie Forslund enough for understanding my hesitation to let Misty go at first and supported my effort to make her as comfortable as possible prior to watching her struggling in the end just to breathe. Apparently the cancer had spread to her lungs. Finally Dr. Annie helped me realize Misty was really in a severe discomfort and so I had to relieve her from her misery. Dr. Annie helped Misty go to the Rainbow Bridge, free of pain in her healthy body again, peacefully.
I took a huge comfort when Dr. Annie told me she believes our pets have spirits that will never die. I was devastated, heartbroken for me but relieved for my Misty.
Dr. Annie Forslund is such a compassionate doctor and person, comforting our grieving hearts and making herself available for consolation and support at anytime.
Thank you Dr. Annie for your caring nature as I truly believe it is your calling - I'm so grateful and fortunate to find you. Anyone who has pet(s) that is(are) suffering from incurable illness and suffering badly should be so lucky to get your compassionate help. RIP my beautiful Misty - so long, not goodbye, as I hope we'll be reunited again someday. I love you and miss you so much...... you'll always be in my heart.
Thank you for checking in on me and thank you for your kindness and compassion for Misty and me.
I still have bad days and not so bad days.
I wish so much that Misty would come visit me in my dreams and show me that she's now in a happy place, running around freely, eating and drinking to her heart's content, playing with her favorite toys and sleeping comfortably as she used to be when she was in her healthy body, next to me.
I compiled all her pictures, made an album and a make-shift “shrine" next to my bed. It contains the wooden box with her Cremains, her paw print, name tag, framed pictures, all her old blankets and her Elizabethan soft collar she wore after being spayed. I also wrote a letter to her. I thought it would give me solace, but I sobbed all the way through as I reminisced on her last days.
Here is the letter:
My most precious baby, Misty,
Yesterday, Sat. 05/03/14 a.m. I've gotten you back in my lap. Although just your remains, I don't treasure and love it any less, and I was relieved to have you back, oh my little Misty. I wept while hugging your remains and paw print 'cause I miss you so much and wish you were still here.
I miss your spunkiness, feistiness, cute little face, ears and bright green eyes, cunningness, cuddly fur-balls and the sound of your purrs when I petted and stroked your fur. I put you along with all the memories I could gather that make my heart closer to you, next to my bed so that I can feel your presence.
I wish very much and long for your visits, even if only in my dreams, and see you running and jumping around, free of pain, in beautiful and lush endless green pastures with meadows and rainbows surrounding you, where you run and walk freely wherever your heart desires.
I will always love you, my little Misty. I carved your soul and spirit in my heart to go with me everywhere I go. I sincerely hope you don’t despise me for my decision to have Dr. Annie help you leave the old, broken and diseased body to cross the Rainbow Bridge that hopefully exists. It soothes me in hearing doc Annie Forslund tell me that she truly believes your spirit is alive and will never die.
Please forgive me for not spending much more time with you and tending to your condition on your last days, and forgive me for what I should've, could've and would've done to let you live a few moments longer if that was what you would’ve wanted me to do. Forgive me if you think I've made the wrong decision for you in handling your illness where you’d have preferred to be rid of the nasty lump and take the chance that you might get more comfortable for a few more precious years.
So long my Misty. . . . not goodbye, but so long. I truly hope we'll meet again one day and you'll recognize me when it's time for me to meet you.
Enjoy your afterlife freedom, and please never ever forget me, the one who loves you so much, always will—forever! I don't expect anything but you loving me back and always remembering me.
With my undying love,
Your mom, Sara Arwin
Anaheim